Math, Mother-Lover! Do You Speak It!?


November 13, 2012 by Ish

Oh, what would I do without the Being Liberal Facebook group? Consider today’s new photoshop-meme-as-public-policy entry:

Funny thing about numbers, they are very good at telling you which of two things is larger or smaller.

Two million free pizzas, with a profit margin of $0.14 each, is $280,000 in lost profits… Assuming that the advertising from the promo doesn’t offset the loss. Which it obviously does, that’s why its called a “promo,” it promotes business, duh.

16,000 employees, nationwide, times $1200 (this assumes a mere $100/mo insurance premium (which is obviously too low) is a $19,200,000 cost… From a company with a net income of $50 million per year.

50,000,000 – 280,000 is a SMALLER thing than 50,000,000 – 19,200,000 which is a BIGGER thing? Math. How does it work?

Look folks, the PPACA that you all voted to make happen leaves Papa Johns three options. It has to either raise prices (and thus go under), cut its net income (and thus go under), or it needs to cut costs (and thus keep operating). Since the owners and managers of Papa Johns are not goddamn idiots they are going use some simple math and figure out which things is larger or smaller than other things.


13 thoughts on “Math, Mother-Lover! Do You Speak It!?

  1. lelnet says:

    Not to mention that covering “Basic healthcare” is about to be ILLEGAL. You have to either provide solid-gold, diamond-studded healthcare with platinum inlay, or else nothing.

    • Julia says:

      You mean requiring men to have maternity coverage isn’t basic? Because I’m sure men are SO HAPPY that their premiums are going through the roof because they have to have a policy that covers a bunch of crap for women.

  2. Stuart the Viking says:

    Oh but he’s RICH, and therefore has an infinite supply of money. Like ALL rich people do. He should just pay his employees millions of dollars and then they will have enough money to buy their own health insurance. After all, they are all poor because he sucks all the money up for himself, fat rich pig that he is, leaving nothing for the little people that he steps on every day just to make sure he gets richer and everyone else gets poorer.

    Man, I was going for satire there… Not sure I made it ridiculous enough.


    • Julia says:

      If you throw in a reference to how “money is like a pie,” you’d sound just like the left 😉

      • Woodman says:

        I can’t stand the money is like a pie thing. Yes, money is just like a pie dipshit, when I run out I make more.

        But even if what they are saying is the case then it’s still all messed up, if money is like a pie, and the owner of my company gives me pieces of his pie, if the government takes more of his pie doesn’t than mean there is less to pay me with?

      • Julia says:

        See, according to the statists, when the government takes more of the pie (which OF COURSE is of a fixed size, because there is only a limited amount of wealth in the world; it’s not like wealth can be created or anything, nope), the owner of the business is supposed to shrink his OWN share so the workers don’t take a pay cut. That’s because business owners are evil and greedy, so they need to be punished.

        Or, the government takes the share it has received and gives it back to you in shitty “services” like an hour-long wait at DMV or waiting 6 months for a simple surgery. It makes perfect sense, you know.

      • Stuart the Viking says:

        Dangit… I forgot the pie! THAT’s what I missed… thanks.


  3. odamae says:

    Ummm, I see lots of Papa John’s pizza in my future! I’ll make up for at least three boycotting moocher idiots.

  4. […] Ish posted a piece on the liberal obsession with Papa John’s for laying people off to combat rising health care […]

  5. […] 2008 one. This is probably the fault of the Republican Party, I’m sure, for teaching me to rely on math to figure out which of two numbers is […]

  6. […] Follow the link for the whole sad press release… Not “sad” in the sense that I am sorrow to see the lights go out at WKVO, but “sad” in the sense that they have a pathetic grasp on the way the real world works. You know, the one where numbers are a good way to tell if one thing is bigger than the other. […]

  7. […] Les mathématiques sont difficiles. […]

  8. […] group to thank for this bit of photoshop-meme-as-public-policy. You may remember the last one a mathematically dubious call to boycott Papa […]

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